BACKGROUND: In
"Living Safe in an Unsafe World" (New American
Library, $14.95), Kate Kelly outlines
practical steps people can take to avoid
dangerous situations or survive them if
they're unavoidable. Topics covered include
food safety, natural disasters, confrontations
with animals, fire and car safety, among
others, and include recommendations on making
children safety conscious. Kelly has written
19 books on family-related subjects.
Q--Would you say
it's knowledge that keeps you safe, not fear?
A--The perfect
example of that is air travel. Statistically,
you're so much safer in an airplane than you
are driving your own car. Yet people have very
little fear about being in their car and a lot
of fear about being airborne.
Q--Have you
always been safety conscious?
A--I was always
protective. I was the kind of mom for whom
baby-proofing the house was an absolute given.
As my children got older, I became more aware
of the wider world that I couldn't protect
them from. And from that standpoint, I was a
little late: The earlier you start teaching
your child basic safety protection, the better
your chance of having it ingrained.
Q--Were you
careful as a child?
A--I was born in
1950, and children have less freedom now than
I had when I was growing up. We'd head out for
the afternoon on our bikes and report back at
dinnertime. It was a go-where-you-want,
take-care-of-yourself type of freedom. It gave
us a bit of savvy.
Q--How are
things different now?
A--Today
everything is so organized. On the one hand,
parents now are much more protective during
the early years, but then there's that cusp
time where kids want freedom but there hasn't
been any way of getting them from A to C.
Everybody skips B. You might always
trick-or-treat with your kids and then all of
a sudden they want to go on their own. To my
shock, a lot of parents say, "OK, go on your
own." I think there has to be that interim
where you say, "Well, you can go on your own
but I'm going to follow you in the car." You
can't just turn someone loose.
Q--You need to
teach them how to protect themselves?
A--I like the
idea of something called "situational
awareness." It's important to teach your
children to be heads-up, to look around and
evaluate situations when they get there. One
of my kids is at the age of wanting to go to
rock concerts. You want a 15-year-old to be
able to say, "Gee, it's getting really crowded
down there and those people have had a lot to
drink, so I'm going to move away from the
center of action here." They don't have to
leave the concert, don't have to remove
themselves from fun, just say, "Things are
looking dicey here. I think I'll move."
Q--So, be aware
of your surroundings?
A--And as soon as
something seems amiss, do what you need to do.
I've been in classrooms after school where
mothers, teachers and kids will be sewing
costumes or something, and the fire bell will
go off and everybody just sits there! And I
think, "Well, no custodian came by and told me
they were going to test the fire alarm. I'm
going to go find out if they're testing it, or
whether we ought to get out." The idea that
people would sit through an acknowledged
emergency signal and not respond is
frightening.
Q--How do you
teach kids safety without instilling
unnecessary fear in them?
A--You don't want
to rob them of trust, or make them fearful of
every human being. That's a bad world to live
in, if you think you have to be on your guard
because somebody asks you for directions. But
you do want kids to be able to assess whether
they can safely provide information to this
person without endangering themselves. It's a
fine line. But if you start early, you're not
instilling fear; you're presenting it as "This
is what we do. This is how we live."
Q--How do
holidays throw us off-stride, safety-wise?
A--There are more
distractions, generally. One particular danger
is chaos in the kitchen. Getting burned is a
real concern when you've got a lot of extra
people in there. You're moving the turkey from
the oven to the counter with all these hot
juices and all of a sudden your nephew comes
in. It's always worth thinking through kitchen
management so you know how you're going to
choreograph it, keep it from getting too
crowded in there.
Another danger is
candles. It's one thing to have them on the
table when everyone's sitting there eating
dinner and you blow them out as you get up.
But a lot of people put them all around the
house, and unless somebody's attending them
full time, that isn't really a good idea.
Q--Also, guests
aren't as familiar as family is with the
terrain of the house.
A--Especially
when you've got elderly people coming, try to
look at your house the way somebody else would
see it. Be careful about scatter rugs. If you
have a couple of stairs somewhere that are
hard to see, make sure people are going to see
them every time.
Q--Are you good
in an emergency?
A--I think I'd be
much better now that I've written this book. I
try to be prepared, use common sense, and
always remember "life before property."
Q--In that
critical split second, don't forget it's
better to spill the pop than have a car
accident?
A--Yes. It's
interesting how people react sometimes. My
husband has been in hotels when the fire alarm
has gone off at 2 or 3 a.m., and he says the
funniest thing is the sight of all these
business people dashing out of their rooms in
whatever they're sleeping in--holding their
briefcases. Nobody ever leaves without their
briefcase.
